Trigger Question #68:
Sometimes I am aware of the drone of jet engines as a plane flies overhead. Other times, I focus in on the sound as the drone turns to a whine. What’s happening? Oh, nothing scary. The pilot is preparing the plane for landing by lowering the wheels.
When you hear, you are aware of. When you listen, you focus on.
Sometimes we are aware of people droning on. And sometimes we focus on what they say. But too often we treat hearing and listening as the same and discount the fact that there is a practical difference between the two.
Hearing is our ability to perceive sound. It is passive. It just happens. We don’t really control it. We might try, not successfully, to block out sound with earplugs or noise-canceling headsets.
Listening is active. We notice a sound and give it our attention. We make an effort to tune in.
Because we know the difference between tuning out and tuning in, we understand what “I hear you” really means. It does not mean, “I am listening.” It means, “I hear you, but I’m not listening to you.” Or it could mean, “You’re so boring.” Or “I don’t care.” Even “You’re being stupid.”
The next time you hear yourself say, “I hear you”, stop, tune in and consider. What outcome do you want? Do you want to shut down the speaker? Or do you want to engage?
More important, do you want to be heard or do you want to be listened to? Hearing and listening are a give-and-take. If you listen to me, I will listen to you. But if you are only willing to hear me, well, I will then also happily ignore you.
Would you like your voice (your ideas and opinions) to travel far and wide? Then, make “I am listening” your habit, rather than “I hear you.”
(You “heard” it here first, but did you listen?)
Welcome to my side of the nonsense divide.
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Quote of the Moment:
“I stop listening when I hear you droning on. But then I remember who you are, and I immediately focus on you.” The Chief Nonsense Officer.
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