Trigger Question #181:
So, you manage people. And because you are their boss… No, stop being so sensitive! If you oversee their work, then you are the boss. Get over it. You are responsible for their doings and their comings and goings, no matter how much you delegate to them.
There’s a funny thing that happens when people have a boss. They try to please the boss. Even when they don’t like the boss. Because the boss influences their pay, their bonus, their well-being, and whatever else.
This means that even when you try to be neutral, they will not see you as neutral. They will view your words and actions as positive or negative towards them individually. Remember, it is not what you mean that matters; it is what they perceive. Perceptions are reality.
Thus, you will either make someone feel tall or small. You will either inflate them or you will deflate them. Regardless of whether or not you mean to do so.
Don’t forget, you are always a manager. A boss, yes, a leader, maybe, but always a manager. So the question is, do you manage for inflation or manage for deflation? Here’s another question. Do you do so with intent or by accident?
Actually, those two questions don’t really matter beyond making you think. Because what matters is this. You, the manager, must never deflate someone. Not even when you are about to fire them. Just don’t do it. Because if you do, you are really deflating yourself, if only in their eyes.
Well, maybe there is one situation when you should purposefully aim to deflate. When you are in charge of an ego that is too big. Then you have little option but to deflate it. Do it, and your colleagues and your team will thank you.
However, be careful. How you deflate a too-big ego matters. You can pop it and create a loud bang. Or you can stick a little pin in it and let it shrink with a quiet shhh.
I think you can guess which way shows others that you have your own ego well under control.
Welcome to my side of the nonsense divide.
. . .
Quote of the Moment:
“Never kill an ego in public when you can tame it in private.” The Chief Nonsense Officer.
. . .