Trigger Question #42:
There are many ways you can destroy trust, so it helps to know one way that does not. You cannot destroy trust by listening too much.
Intuitively, you know it’s true. Hence my question. Who did you brush off this week? Meaning, whose trust did you destroy?
Yes, I agree; some people abuse our willingness to listen. You probably should brush them off. So let me ask you a different question. Who did you not brush off when you should have ignored them?
Here’s the trick to knowing when to listen, and when to brush off. Intentionality. Intentionality means that you behave with intention. You behave in a certain way, your way, come what may. Persistently, but purposefully and with clarity.
If you are intentional, then there is a clear purpose to your listening and to your brushing off. Your listening or not listening is not determined by your mood, your likes or dislikes, your subjective judgments, your lack of sleep, or your hunger pangs. You are fully present when you listen and you are fully aware when you brush off.
Now here’s the kicker. If you listen with intent, and you brush off with intent, then you maintain integrity. And guess what? Integrity cannot destroy trust. It only strengthens trust.
And here’s another kicker. People might not always like your integrity, what it means for them, but they will always know where they stand with you. They can trust you to be you.
Welcome to my side of the nonsense divide.
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Quote of the Moment:
“Saying ‘You talkin’ to me?’ in a certain tone of voice does not inspire trust. Unless you trust in fear.” The Chief Nonsense Officer.
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