Trigger Question #171:
Some leaders talk too much. Other leaders communicate too little. And then there are leaders who need an audience to listen to them thinking aloud.
Yes, talking is an important form of communicating. But so is silence. So, when should leaders speak up and when should they keep quiet? I don’t think leaders have a problem speaking up. I think they have a problem keeping quiet. So let’s address that issue.
Here are a few suggestions:
- You should keep quiet when you have nothing to say. No, this is not obvious. As leaders, we believe we must always have something to say because leaders should always have an opinion, if not the answer. Plato once said that wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. (Can you now guess why we have so many podcasts and why social media is overflowing?)
- You should keep quiet when you don’t know what to say. This is also not obvious. Many leaders don’t like saying, “I don’t know.” Admitting you don’t know, or don’t know yet, is always safer than what might come out of your mouth if you just open it.
- You should keep quiet when you want others to respond or react. This might also seem obvious, but again, it is not. You might think you keep quiet to let others speak, but too often you don’t wait long enough. Because you either assume no one is going to speak up or because you don’t like silences. But why should you keep quiet long enough after asking a question? Someone will be uncomfortable enough with the silence to blurt out something. And, surprisingly often, they blurt out something important.
What does keeping quiet give you? Silence! Silence is a great leadership and management tool. But be careful how you use silence:
- Don’t use silence as a way of avoiding an issue or conflict. This is just a cowardly way to avoid accountability.
- Don’t use silence to intimidate. Actually, why not? Do it, I say. But do it with intent. Know that you are using silence as a power play to achieve a specific outcome. Never use silence as a passive-aggressive ploy.
- Don’t use silence unintentionally. Surely, we have all witnessed silence as a vacuum in meetings. Did our leader tune out because he is not interested? Or did she fall asleep?
Remember, don’t simply keep quiet. Keep quiet with intent. Make your silence strategic.
Welcome to my side of the nonsense divide.
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Quote of the Moment:
“My parents taught me that kids should be seen and not heard. But then my boss complained that I never spoke up in meetings.” The Chief Nonsense Officer.
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