Trigger Question #183:
One pre-dawn morning Charlie and I walked out of the house into the backyard. Well, I walked; Charlie ran. Charlie is a dog. A big German Shepherd dog. So big, in fact, that some days I call him Charles.
Suddenly Charlie stopped, tensed, and barked low and threateningly while staring at something. Something I could not see. Then he circled the something from a safe distance while barking questioningly. (If you are a dog owner of many years’ experience, then you too will recognize a questioning bark.)
My body gave an involuntary shiver as the hairs on my neck stood to attention. But in the gloom, I could see nothing dangerous. Just two camp chairs I had erected on the lawn the previous day so that they could dry.
I did not know what he was barking at, because I saw two camp chairs. Charlie did not know what he was barking at because he did not know camp chairs. We were looking in the same direction, but he was looking at something specific while I was looking in the general direction of his concern. I could not tell that he was barking at the camp chairs because I “saw” camp chairs. He “saw” something unknown.
I did not see what had him rattled; yet what he saw rattled him.
I did not laugh at Charlie because he was simply doing his job, which was to warn me and hopefully protect me from danger. Instead, I thanked him by praising him. Then I told him to shut up.
Keep in mind that it was early morning. I assume all the various neighbors were still sleeping snugly. So why did I not immediately command Charlie to be quiet? (What sort of neighbor am I?) Because if I had told him to shut up, then maybe next time, when there is actual risk, he might worry more about my ill-tempered reaction than worry about protecting me.
The order of my response matters to Charlie. (And even to Charles.) Makes you think, doesn’t it?
But does it make you think about how you react at the office? Do you ignore people who express their concerns? Do you go further and tell them to shut up? Or do you listen to them and thank them? And then, if they persist in a nagging sort of way, do you tell them to shut up?
Indeed, sometimes I tell Charlie to shut up without first praising him. Those are times when I know before he does what is going on. Times when I understand better than him what behavior from us, both, is appropriate. But I tell him gently, so as not to hurt his feelings or his protective instincts. (Yes, there are times I praise him just for the hell of it. You should try it.)
And indeed, sometimes, being the boss, you know better. Times when you should take control. Bluntly and firmly.
Depending on the situation, I manage my response to Charlie’s barking: I praise and command, or I command only. You should do the same in response to the barking at work.
Welcome to my side of the nonsense divide.
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Quote of the Moment:
“It is better to bark before you bite. Because then you might never need to bite.” The Chief Nonsense Officer.
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