Trigger Question #179:
Lately, quite a few public and corporate leaders have whined about respect. Specifically, about “not getting the respect we deserve.”
Well, let me remind them. There’s something obvious about respect. You earn it. You cannot demand it, buy it, expect it, or assume it. I suppose you could, but would that be real respect? Would it be the type of respect that you would respect? You know what I mean.
If you use force, threats, bullying, or similar tricks to get respect, well, what you then have is not respect. You will have disdain or fear, neither of which ever leads to respect.
At least in one way, respect is like leadership. People follow you when they decide you are a leader. Proclaiming yourself a leader does not mean that people will agree with you and then freely follow you. You earn leadership when you show you can lead.
The same with respect. Proclaiming yourself worthy of respect does not mean people will agree with you and respect you. You earn respect when you show you are worthy of respect.
However, there is an interesting difference between leadership and respect. You will earn more respect if you show respect to others. Respect extends when it is mutual. Not so with leadership. Leadership does not grow stronger when shared. “Too many chefs in the kitchen” is a warning, not a recipe.
As with leadership, there is a real difference between demand and command. If you demand respect, then you look down on others to get it. If you command respect, then others look up to you to give it.
Remember, if you expect respect, you won’t be. But if you reflect respect, you will be. Like many worthwhile honors, respect starts with you.
Welcome to my side of the nonsense divide.
. . .
Quote of the Moment:
“Remember, ‘with all due respect’ is just a wimp’s way of showing disrespect.” The Chief Nonsense Officer.
. . .