#54: The 4th Way

To Beat the Joneses

T’s the season to . . . leave the Joneses in the dust.

The whole point of modern life is to know your ABC. How to Acquire it, how to Boast about it, and how to Closet it.

We have indulged in this uniquely human behavior since they invented agriculture. That’s when we (finally) had more than enough in one place. We called it surplus and built a place to store it.

Gone was the need to be a member of a roving band of foraging foodies.

But why do some people keep up with the Joneses better than others? The answer, according to heavy thinkers, seems to be the Three-Fold Path: luck, intelligence and/or aggression.

With the advent of the predictable discount season, I propose a Fourth Way. Timing. Or, to give it its scientific name, deferred gratification.

The trick is to wait patiently until you are rewarded with an even bigger discount than the Joneses.

Welcome to my side of the nonsense divide.