Insight #343:
If you are a manager or a leader, how should you ask a question? Well, that depends on the answer you want.
If you want a No answer, then frame the question in the negative. If you want a Yes, then structure the question as a positive.
Think how you are likely to react to this question: “Do you think you should?” Chances are, before answering, you will think of reasons why you “should”. Now think how you are likely to react if the question is asked this way: “Don’t you think you shouldn’t?” Chances are, before answering, you will think of reasons why you “shouldn’t”.
It’s almost as if the way the question is framed will prime you, consciously or not, to respond in a predetermined way. Like a leading question, it nudges you, intentionally or accidentally, to answer in a particular way.
What if you are on the receiving end of a leading-type question? How should you respond? Simply respond with, “Why do you ask?” This might irritate the questioner, but it should cause a sharper question to be asked, thus enabling you to give a relevant or useful answer.
Effective questions are neutral. These are what-do-you-think type of questions. Of course, the problem with framing your questions this way implies that you are really interested in the answer, or in the person’s opinion.
And then they will expect you to take their answer seriously. How annoying.
Welcome to my side of the nonsense divide.
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