Trigger Questions

Were You Hostile or Just Angry?

Trigger Question #16

“I’m not angry!” “Yes, you are!”

. . .

Do people get angry at work? Of course they do. When two or more people interact, someone will get angry sometim

To encourage amiable teamwork and cheerful workers, should you ban anger at work? Well, good luck with that.

Because anger is not the problem. Anger is just a feeling. Like hunger. The feeling itself is not the issue. What matters is how you show your feelings, be they hunger or anger, at work. (Or anywhere else.)

Don’t suppress your anger. If you don’t let it out, you will become more frustrated. And then do the equivalent of kicking the dog. That’s never healthy, for you or the dog. But always let your anger out constructively and appropriately.

Here’s what you should ban at work (at home and everywhere). Ban all destructive and inappropriate expressions of anger. Not anger itself, but how people vent it or release it. Because anger itself does not damage. But the way you express anger can be harmful. Shouting, threatening, abusing, belittling, violence, and so on.

And here is a simple way to keep your anger constructive. Be angry at the behavior, but not at the person. Don’t be angry at who the person is, but at what the person did. Or did not do.

Never let your anger create a hunger in you to hurt someone. Your relationship might never recover. And at work (at home and everywhere) relationships are all that matter. Really.

Welcome to my side of the nonsense divide.

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