Insight #189
Sadly, peace is not breaking out spontaneously. Not where I can see. Which is why I wonder, do you talk it out or do you fight it out?
To get things done through others, do you persuade or do you instruct? Do you compel or do you convince? Do you use your power or your influence?
Here’s why your preference matters. Over two hundred years ago, the philosopher Edmund Burke explained that “a nation is not conquered which is perpetually to be conquered.” If you rely mainly on force and fear, on the authority vested in your position, then you will have to rely on it again and again.
And you won’t be very successful.
About 10 years ago, I read about a study in The Economist magazine. According to the study, military might had resolved fewer than 8% of conflicts over the previous 15 years, whereas 92% of negotiations during that period had succeeded.
The lesson for leaders and managers? Skillful negotiators are far more successful than bossy autocrats. So, develop your personal power. Become a talker, not a fighter.
And then shoot for collaboration, not cooperation.
When are you asked to cooperate? When you don’t quite agree with the other party’s goals. When do you collaborate, even without being asked? When you want to work with them because your goals are (almost) identical.
Cooperation often results in everyone ultimately performing at the level of the lowest contributor or the weakest member. Whereas when we collaborate, we seek and use the best of each contributor. (Individual band members don’t cooperate to write their next hit song. They collaborate to produce something worthy of being a hit. Hence, the difference between a hit and a miss.)
Do you want people to cooperate? In that case, insist on it and hope it works. Do you want them to collaborate? Sell them on the shared goals, and they will collaborate willingly.
Remember, you must fight people to get them to cooperate, but you can talk them into collaborating. So be a talker, not a fighter.
Welcome to my side of the nonsense divide.
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Quote of the Moment:
“I am quite skilled at talking myself out of a fight. But sometimes, even I just shut up and run.” The Chief Nonsense Officer.
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