Trigger Questions

Did you say yes clearly or no firmly?

Trigger Question #146 — reading time: about 0.9 inutes

“Was that a yes or a no?”

Get ready to refuse a whole batch of requests for your time and money. It’s that time of year when you receive too many invitations to too many happenings that require shopping for too many gifts that you’d rather not be buying.

Why don’t you refuse? Because you fear being labeled rude, selfish, antisocial, uncaring, or all of the above.

What should you do? Well, if the relationship with the person issuing the invitation is worth more to you than the inconvenience of attending or shopping, then say yes. Clearly.

Otherwise say no. Firmly. Be positive with your no so that you don’t appear resentful at having received the invitation. Feeling negative might make you overreact in a relationship damaging way.

If you don’t say yes decisively and you don’t say no convincingly, then what are you saying? Nothing at all. Saying nothing is avoiding, hoping the problem will go away. Which it seldom does.

Sometimes it is better to be labeled rude, selfish, uncaring, and antisocial than to be called… spineless.

Indeed, the ability to say yes clearly or no firmly matters equally in your management role. Every day.

Welcome to my side of the nonsense divide.