As we race to the finish of another year, the thought will tempt you to look back and evaluate all the good and bad which the past 360 odd days coughed up for you. Or, if you prefer the formal HR approach, you will do a performance appraisal based on your successes and failures, and allocate blame and credit according to your tolerance for remorse.

Then, according to tradition, you will read up on eight steps to fame and fortune, which you will use to craft your resolutions for results, your strategies for success, in the coming year.

Well, I won’t be doing any of that. This time I’m doing something different. I will develop my formula for failure.

Why on earth would I do that? Well, we all know that resolutions don’t stick. And why don’t they? Because resolutions are about behaving better (which on this planet is never easy). By implication, resolutions to behave badly will stick more easily.

Ergo, if I resolve to behave badly, I will succeed.

What if you feel uncomfortable with even just the idea of behaving badly? Then remember this. You are the one who must define what badly means!

Let’s assume you want to stick to your resolution to (finally) use your gym membership. Don’t say, “I resolve to go to the gym at least four times a week.” You know that resolution will not stick. Instead, say, “I resolve never to go to the gym.” Because…. Yes, you get it. Because that resolution will not stick either!

You will fail. And thus succeed. Get it? It’s all in the psychology. Your resolution to behave badly (not go to the gym) made you go to the gym. Which is what you wanted. All made possible because resolutions don’t stick.

If you struggled to stick with me, because this nonsense made little sense to you, then congratulations. You are ready for any topsy-turvy the year 2023 resolves to stick you with.

Welcome to my side of the nonsense divide.