#173: I Used to Be a But Man

But I’m Trying To Change

I used to be a but man, but now I’m trying to change. Oops! Let me try that again.

I used to be a but man, AND now I’m trying to change.

The problem is that a but man, or but woman, stifles communication. Allow me to demonstrate. Please say something important. Speak up. Okay, here’s my response: “Yes, but….”

How do you feel? And if I respond instead with “Yes, and….”, how do you feel now?

The phrase “yes, but” creates the impression that I have just dismissed your important statement simply to impose my superior view, even though that might not be my intention.

The word “but” excludes whereas “and” includes. Saying “yes, and….” creates the impression that you want to build on what I have just said.

A but person is a real turnoff AND I’m going to stop being one.

Welcome to my side of the nonsense divide.